A break from study break

Joanne!!

The Vaz cousins

Michele!

Grandma lovessssss

Lil couz Jiale

Hehehe!! We love doing stupid poses.

Xiaoyi and Le!

Wagyu beef BBQ hangout with Chibeepork-mushroom-head.

Baboon House

Hello!! I'm 99% done with M.B.B.S.!! It's a good news, but the bad is the final 1% is the hardest to pull through cuz it'll be clinical long and short cases. )): *palpitation*

Today was the last day for theory paper and well, it was so far so good (can pass lah!), except for MCQ2 which was really a screwed up one! There's a two weeks Raya break in between before I undergo the final one third of this exam with uber high mortality rate! Sighh, God I just need to passssss, pretty please!!!!

Mini chillout time with Soo and Tornglei after the depressing paper was seriously curative and without realizing, we spent the whole afternoon chatting about all girlish matters!! Counting the number of regrets and amount of things we'd missed during these five years of studies. This is gotta be good life if everyday was just like this - sipping our favorite teas, waiting for sunset in the west with no worries anchoring our minds. Sadly, the facts of life gave us an awakening call and took us away from our solaces. I dislike coming back to reality when I know my life is nowhere near paradise. Pathetic but real.

TL's a strong girl to me. A very strong one actually. Her determination and courage are the two main elements I truly admire. I came to my senses hearing other people's experiences and realized how trivial mine was, or should I say, I was just too fragile? It kept crossing my mind that all of us had our own fair share of problems but why did I always fail to tackle mine?? Seems like I have so much more to learn from these people around me. Life goes on after all. There's no way for us to look back on our youths and wonder when those years have gone while time is a real and constant motion, always rolling us along. I'm gonna give faith a fighting chance until I'm settled with the current wave! It's a comfort to know that sometimes we live with lots of regrets and misses yet they will all come to pass.

In You I Trust

For there is no one whom I can cling on to but You, O Lord. You see me through my darkest days and pick me up when I fall. And I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in weakness. I rest in Your promise to me.

世界不能給我溫暖的時候 我用信心抬起頭
藍天白雲總會再次提醒我 我的天父關心我
生命是祢所造 一切祢明瞭 祢豈會不知道 我此刻需要
有沒有人陪我 不再重要 祢的同在溫暖我
* * *
禱告還沒有蒙垂聽的時候 我用信心抬起頭
藍天白雲總會再次提醒我 神的意念高過我
生命是祢所造一切祢明瞭 祢豈會不知道 我此刻需要
卸下所有重擔完全交托 祢的恩典夠我用 夠我用
* * *
人生旅途走到終點的時候 主啊求祢幫助我
擦乾所有眼淚沒有懼怕 祢的榮光照耀我
渴望聽見祢說 孩子我知道 你用一生愛我 一生榮耀我
雨後的天空有美麗彩虹 我用信心抬起頭

Breathe, please.

Traces of that journey stalks me almost as frequent as I can remember. Of regrets and woes are all that flit my acceptance and never had they crossed my mind that leaving the comfort zone is just too much to bear. I blame myself for giving up so easily, for not holding on to it a little longer and for being so persistently demanding. I lost it in the end from my own mistake for voicing something I bore no intention in at all. Replaying that chapter is almost impossible, thus allowing memories to clog up my frontal lobe is the only resolution I resort to. It carves a smile every time I grant a replay of memories. I don't have much to recall, yet sufficient enough to alleviate this bitterness. I'm so scared of losing these memories, even for just a day they do not fringe my mind. I refuse to be left with nothing.

While in search for a brand new day, finding the courage to look past the night and waiting for dawn to come is an agony to pull through. Most of the time. I'm tired of running this marathon where I bore no idea where this is all going. Will I reach the finishing line or is it going to deviate me to another new race? I just want to forget the woes of yesterday, breathe again and face a new day. Sometimes I tell myself to hope a little and pray a little, perhaps I'll gain back what I'd lost. Disappointments come and starting out again is never easy. I'm choked. I have no choice but to move on. I simply have to even though it's gonna be tough. It's time. I need to learn the pain. Then I'm learning how to laugh a little, cry a little and live a little more, hoping that someday I'll breathe again. Will I?

And teardrops keep falling...

I've been there before and I just can't let go.
The memories and pain of the hurt I know.
Now deep in the night, and there's passion inside.

Dare I follow my heart?

An innocent smile, then a walk in the night.
Then it's dinner at home served with candlelight,
And it's been quite a while since I felt good inside.
Dare I follow my heart?

Do I feel something special inside of you?
Do I know what you really think of me?

And the raindrops keep falling into my heart,
and I just can't deny what feels so right.
Do I let myself go and feel the rain,
or should I play with caution and refrain?
Whatever I do, when it comes to you, 

I know sometimes love plays the part of a fool.

I know what's in store though I can't say much more.
A chance worth the taking has opened its door,

and I can't say I love you, 

and I can't say I don't,
but I do wish I knew. 

Part of a Fool

-Juwita Suwito-

I'm weird cuz I hate goodbyes

Five years of lessons in medical school had finally come to an end. Well, I was supposed to be glad but surprisingly, I'm not. Daily whinings about attending clinics and classes were just obligatory when I thought doing a customary task bores me quite a lot. In fact it does. Today's the first day of study break and I kinda missed going to class the moment I opened my eyes this morning. Surprisingly, it was only 7 am and I realized I have sufficient allowance to slumber for the day. I did anyway. It was somehow a different feeling because this is not a break from study but a study break. Stress is always there and there's no way I can avoid it at the moment. I do miss going to the clinics yet I never want to have them again.

Yesterday, I had all the fun that I needed with my groupmates since that was our last day of class and we were done with our end posting in Family Medicine. Had the most contented afternoon lunching Thai food and a long conversation after that. Before heading home, we decided to drop by Jonker for cendol and some mischieves. We were the big kids (where the summation of our ages comes to a quarter century) doing kiddo stuffs. *applause*

As for dinner, we had our usual end of posting dine out with our honorable guest, Dr. Anoop, who will be leaving the college tomorrow. ): Medicine posting was fun whenever he conducted a class, with all the 'lubdub' sound he made was really funny. I shouldn't get any more emotional seriously, but I can't help it! I don't want to leave these people I met here! ): I'm weird cuz I hate goodbyes... sigh... but life goes on. That's a reminder I keep telling myself that better days are coming ahead and I shall not stay stagnant at this point of life. And the good news is I'm moving on, and again, come what may...

Moroccan Night

The annual Lagenda Night was certainly given two thumbs up! Firstly cuz we earned ourselves a day of holiday and secondly, the night was really fun for a temporary pause from studies and stress. Past two weeks had been quite a nightmare dealing with whatever I ought to at this point of life and I swear this is gonna be the toughest ordeal to ever pull through. I'm trying hard to juggle between studies and emotions. So, ask me no questions I tell you no lies. My little faith is still burning.

The evening was themed the 'Moroccan Night'. Talk about Moroccans, I seriously bore no knowledge about their dressing prior to this. Alright, prolly Alibaba and Aladdin?? That was all I knew and certainly had no time to play dress up with my friends when I only decided to attend the event a couple of hours before it started. And I'm really thankful my religion doesn't require me to wear a headdress. Pun not intended. But I really look horrible when I tried wrapping my big head with a shawl!! Crap, I could just topple upside-down laughing at my 'tudungfied' face. This will be the last event in my medical school life. It's really scary to know what's coming ahead when you have nothing else to look forward to but exams. )):

Under-dressed Huiming and Wendy vs. well dressed Michelle

Powerpuff??

So not Moroccan except for Michelle

Wany's white shawl.

My housemate, Koonling. Oh am totally loving Michelle's gorgeous eyes. Sighhh dark circles and eyebags are my worst enemy now. Should have slapped on some make up but was too lazy to do anything for the evening.

Wany! She's blur but she's nice!

Chernlin and Michelle.

Huixin has a super good memory I wished to have too )):

Wheeee~~ I feel so tall that night ^.^

Shidan and Syah.

I sat beside these two for two years in Manipal, Karthik and Kritika and believe me, they have a most dramatic friendship I'd ever witnessed. From the day they started fighting at Year 1 and became foes, and I was awkwardly their middle person, and how they eventually patched things back and now, ahermmm... Amazing I tell you!

Khaveen. So he's one mate I'll have in Sungai Petani if I get posted there!

Me: Did you lose weight?? Naveen: Is it better or worse?? Me: It accentuates my chubbiness!! Naveen: -__-

Veno, the best class rep.

Dr. Anoop!! My favorite lecturer!! He's leaving the college soon.. how sadddd!!

Jiahong. Ohh I just realized we wore tops of the same hue.