Breathe, please.

Traces of that journey stalks me almost as frequent as I can remember. Of regrets and woes are all that flit my acceptance and never had they crossed my mind that leaving the comfort zone is just too much to bear. I blame myself for giving up so easily, for not holding on to it a little longer and for being so persistently demanding. I lost it in the end from my own mistake for voicing something I bore no intention in at all. Replaying that chapter is almost impossible, thus allowing memories to clog up my frontal lobe is the only resolution I resort to. It carves a smile every time I grant a replay of memories. I don't have much to recall, yet sufficient enough to alleviate this bitterness. I'm so scared of losing these memories, even for just a day they do not fringe my mind. I refuse to be left with nothing.

While in search for a brand new day, finding the courage to look past the night and waiting for dawn to come is an agony to pull through. Most of the time. I'm tired of running this marathon where I bore no idea where this is all going. Will I reach the finishing line or is it going to deviate me to another new race? I just want to forget the woes of yesterday, breathe again and face a new day. Sometimes I tell myself to hope a little and pray a little, perhaps I'll gain back what I'd lost. Disappointments come and starting out again is never easy. I'm choked. I have no choice but to move on. I simply have to even though it's gonna be tough. It's time. I need to learn the pain. Then I'm learning how to laugh a little, cry a little and live a little more, hoping that someday I'll breathe again. Will I?