Love matters

Of late, my life has been a slightly mounted with emotions. This is a post, a post I wished it will be heard by you. Some words I had long wanted to tell you. Yet to keep it private, I delayed till now. For last night, my heart was torn the second time. So, here it goes.

Dear you,

It's always been a question in my head, what sort of relationship are we heading to? Sometimes, things get complicated between us. To make things mutual, we became bro and sis. Despite the bro-sis-relationship, we realized how we often fall into improper arguments. The affection was there. There's no way we could escape jealousy. As hard as I try to work my worrisome little mind around it, I wonder why do we put up with everything. The constant compromise and allowance from my part while the care and attention from yours. And all that waiting and wanting. It was tiring, I know. We think differently. We have different views about stuff.

Nearly 3 months of a different life from you since my fallback. Which left me all but a tad miffed because it made me resent not being able to see you as often as I'd like to. As we walked along, sometimes I found the dissimilarities between us. You noticed it as well. But we never voiced. Of both the mental and emotional stress I, albeit voluntarily, allow myself to be subjected to. And it was also at times like these that I’m reminded of how you constantly gave in to my whimsical demands, without complaint. The many wonderful ways in which you showed me how much you care.

Now that we really have to put a stop to it. I did not intend for all that I told you to happen. I didn't mean to lie nor cheat. I did not feel any better than you. For you know I like you more than you had imagined. All that patience and tolerance, understanding and acceptance. They seem so far away now. I hope you live a better life after me. And am always around if you need me. I'm just not the perfect girl for you. Take care!

Love,
-me-

The Weight Issue

Of the recent comments I've gotten. The current weight issue. I've been hearing the same thing over and over again from everyone I meet. Now I get really sick of answering this question. 'Why are you sooo skinny??!' Frankly, I do not know the answer and to clarify the doubts, I'm NOT at all on a diet plan. Everyone who has been dining with me knows the amount I consume. So, yeah I better not say anything.

"... slim-turning to Standard 3-type of wendy-thinness figure..." as quoted by Bern on her recent blog entry.
"...when in primary skool tat time..i rmb her..coz she was reli reli skinny and had a big head.." as quoted by Bern again many years back on Friendster.

Bern oh Bern... do I really have that big head and small body. Made me sound like that big-head-boy fanning the lion at the Lion dance show. Shucx

My BMI actually falls within the normal range. So I guess I should be defending myself now. Not any chance of reverting back to my Standard 3 figure cuz my body is in the right proportion to my head.

Ringing Wedding Bells

Attended my uncle's wedding dinner last weekend which I thought was nice to have another new member in the family. Since I'm not really close with my paternal side of the extended family, bro and I were pretty bored stiff during the dinner. Well, it's simply how typical all my relatives throw me the same questions every time we meet. I don't know why, but I did felt fake while trying to present a self which is so not me that night. Excluding the fact that I dislike answering the questions over and over again.

Mom insisted to capture a family picture before we left for the dinner. It was actually my idea. <3I'd gotten myself a fringe that day which I pretty much hate it as a result. I wonder why I even had the guts to trim my fringe this short. It was an urge when I kept asking the hairdresser to cut it shorter and shorter. Mom was asking at me in disbelieve tone, 'You really want it so short mer?' The dumbo answered, 'Of course! I want a change!' Now that I regret it so much. =((( How do I make my hair grow fast??
Gulped down a glass of wine and was seriously flushing half an hour later. Lil bro thought I was drunk and kept giggling non stop till he brought out the camera and captured this! I'm not at all tipsy, ok? Sux in this picture though.

My lil cousin, Sze Ning, whom everyone was commenting how well she resembled the me when I was young. I think she's much cuter, seriously. Then also with her 1 month old baby brother.

By the way, here's a picture with the wedding couple. The gentleman and lady(other than me) in white. It's a simple wedding dinner, so they don't have their suits and gowns on. Was telling mom I don't want a typical chinese wedding in future. A beautiful church wedding and a garden style buffet will do. *still dreaming of the Disneyland wedding*

And a final capture with my cousins, Celest and Zuming.

Kite flying

Friday night(050509) was a final meet up with Eunice, Mei Cher, Alicia, Elaine and Siow Fen before Eunice leaves us for Sabah. I actually hate to use the word 'final' cuz our gathering will not stop here. This is just the beginning since there are more to come. And no doubt. We seriously love bringing the kids out. This time, we planned for a kite flying session with baby Melissa and Denise. Baby Melissa ain't exactly baby anymore. She's a 6 year-old grown up now. The last time I saw her was before I left for India.
This is baby Melissa 3 years back. I taught her Shinbi's 'I LOVE YOU' trademark, and she did it so well!

The big girl Melissa after 3 years. She's so active and friendsly. Awww.... simply too cute.

My heart melted the moment I heard her calling out my name 'WENDY' while doing a star-jump!! Omg. She's simply too lovable! (if only she's my own daughter, I will pamper her as much as I wanted) We taught her how to fly a kite, just like any other mothers who are eager to coach their kids. :p The night wasn't windy enough to soar the kite high. So we decided to tie to kite to Mel's back, giving her a tail while Alicia piggy-backed her and we started running and running. But still the kite refused to reach the sky. I like it so carefree with these people around. Perhaps one of the best time for me to escape from studies, stresses and worries.

After Melissa and Denise went home, we proceeded for our usual latte session. We joked about people(NOT TO BE DISCLOSED), crapped some nonsense(kentang Perancis), laughed like nobody's business(this is crazy), shared about our lives and thought(BGR) and even discussed serious matters(walks with God). So much of being impressed by what Elaine said, I could only agree with her. That night brought me to the realization that I wasn't the only one who went through tough times. Life goes and we move on eventually irrespective of the past. All of us had seen too many of the same thing, and now, we agreed on the same thing. 'Friends are often the best medicine to heal the broken hearted'.

The cheers of 'Girls rule, Gorls reign'!!

It was almost 2am by the time we realized we ought to go home. We ended the night with a minor discussion on Christianity since all of us are daughters of God. I went home feeling sort of guilty cuz I cling back to God only when I need him. =)