Wuthering Heights

Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?

That was an utmost random question that ran through my subconsciousness at four in the morning which aroused my sleep. I woke up with this big question mark stuck in my head. It was probably due to the titanic load of stress that hovered me over the past one week, I felt like I was breaking apart both physically and mentally. Studies and exams were the two main streams of emphasis I was caught up with. I could hardly take time off with the fear of failing that intruded over and over again. This time, I cannot afford to stumble, I cannot afford to fall. I simply cannot lose my steps and be mocked as a 'disgrace to my profession'. I'm feeling better now and endeavoring to revise. The passing of uncle David brought about some emotional strains in conjunction. It was more about the heartfelt for his family and my dearest friend who had lost a father. Also a reminiscence of my beloved gramps who had left us due to the same reason. I don't quite know what to say but truly, I was encouraged by Alicia's maturity in handling such situation. She is really sensible, strong and positive. We had a good talk that night and she's one friend who is there to constantly remind me about the grace of God and how He had uplifted and strengthen the family in times of sorrows and tears. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow them the rest of their days.

In the face of such revelations, I'm thankful for the God-sent-angels. My family and friends. During my most down times, they were there to embolden my walk. I was tired. In the attempt of protesting unnecessary worries that would have cast a cloud, I kept most of everything to myself yet I failed. Every time I behaved in such a manner, people who cared were in fact sensitive to my burdens. True friends are there for me every second of the day. I can't thank them more for they have never abandoned me. Words they spoke were so comforting and that made me whole regardless of who I am. They accepted me for my flaws and not my strengths, corroborated my strengths and not my flaws. These are people whom I really appreciate. Like how I received snippy comments on this blog by an anonymous reader who had no idea what was going on.

On the other hand, I've finally decided on things I need to do and want to proceed with right at this moment, where my focuses should be and the outcome to my decision. A million thanks to those who had heard my cries and led me to my senses. You know who you are. (: The answer to that big question mark - Everyone's got to crawl when you're up against a wall. I will still be loved even when the sky is falling, for I know that, He will not abandon me.

Dear ck(as how you acknowledge yourself), 

I care not who you are, but if you had dared yourself to post such uncivilized criticism about me, I had to think that you are so perfect to judge me. You don't know me personally, do you? Your attitude that is all squishy about someone else's life sends a chill down my spine. We are both cowards. Just like how you did not have the courage to reveal your identity, I hadn't had the courage to approve your comments. You are probably a foe masquerading as my friend because I do not have any memory in store about making rivalry. I hope you live up to the way you commented about me. At least to compensate for my inadequacy. But your intention to bring hurt in this manner made me think otherwise. Forget not, this is my avenue you are trespassing. Why should I let your trespasses leave a deadly scar? I pen down everything I find it to be significant and this blog serves as my virtual hard disk. I have not given you the permission, neither have I restricted you from visiting. I do not have the habit of monitoring the blog traffic. If you dislike me that much, please do not even try to be nosy about my ongoing. I do not see a point if you are just going to get more displeased with me. Pardon me but mind your own business. You are not the one who's going to be responsible for my life, so why do you even care. My profession is not something which you are on par to lay a word on if you think you are not a sinner your own. If I'm a disgrace to my profession, you are a disgrace to yourself, don't you think so? Thank you for the effort to remind me regarding who I am, I appreciate it, the one pointing finger at me and three back to yourself. Do note that, I know myself better than you do. Save part of the task to rebut my attitude with your negative comments for yourself. For it moulds you into better person. (: I seriously hope you bring such honor to your parents and all the best. (: Don't go around hurting people like this and making yourself sounding so perfect. Be an angel with more pride and dignity if you desire. I don't have the intention to be rude but you were never polite to me at first.

w