What's worth fighting for?

I go out of commission every time my life gets into a phase where routine takes its stand. Like I always said, lifeless. The current posting has really worn me inside out. I'm tired. Physically and mentally. And this is just the start of another four long months. I can't figure out exactly what's exhausting and stressing me. My MOs and specialists are all awesome people and I'm getting along well my new colleagues. Perhaps it's just another chapter to readapt with when I'm seriously maladaptive to every new thing I'm introduced to. Sux big time I know. Oh well, I still have to go through it no matter how much I have to rant. (: By hope or by crude. 

It's the 25th again tomorrow. Of all the changes that are happening over the past few months, thank God for one that stands out from the rest. Just so, with a snap of a finger and blink of an eye, it's been two months since I experienced something of a brand new whole. It's a blessing to wake up every morning in the embrace of the one you love. I'm so thankful for having him around during the darkest hours. Nevertheless I've learnt that every relationship isn't always smooth sailing no matter hard we try to maintain it at the second stage. It takes its own ride of rollercoaster as well. What happens in the future, only God knows. After the bad recovery several months ago, I realized there isn't much worth fighting for, for something I know I've no control over. To keep things subtle is always the best because once it's over, it's gonna hurt when it heals. I know it cuz I'm still in fear of replaying that hardest moment I ever had.