Lesson Learned

I'm a lousy swimmer. In fact, I do not even know how to balance the buoyancy every time I take a dip. My body's coordination works really badly with the aquatic locomotion. It's either a choice of breathing or fluttering. If I choose to flap my limbs, I suffocate. If I breathe, I drown. So it's actually hard to balance unless I have a float around, yet it makes me dependent. I tend to swim to the deeper areas without realizing that I might drown. The joy of floating keeps me going. I tried really hard with the Archimedes Principle whenever I get the chance. Being a person who fathom physics really badly, I comprehend the theory of buoyancy just as badly. Perhaps I'm not a person who's wise with formulas, I suck in stuff that has got to do with calculation. I watch with admiration people who do lovely stunts and wonder when is my turn coming.

Now that when I apply this handicap in another life situation, it turns out emblematic.

There were instances I wished I had smarter brains and better judgement, yet things went just the other way round. I had never foreseen the depth to where I would swim to. Close friends warned me about human nature and how malicious people get with the intention of harming. I never listened, for everything I did was according to my intuition, my trust towards everyone whom I befriended. The recent exercise, I'd taken the route of the subnormal and when I realized, I was too far from where I started from. The distance to where I swam to, I believed I could make it. I believed someone was there at the finishing line. It was all a falsehood. I was taught that when you treat a person with sincerity, you'd be rewarded the same. I never knew about being backstabbed at this level of genuinity. 'It's okay,' I comforted in denial. It'd been some time. I tried my best to get back without being dependent on a life jacket. I drowned several times along the journey. Just too hard, you know. The feeling of getting drowned caught me breathless though I gasped with much effort. Often times, it was hard to play pretend as if the betrayal had not taken place. It kept me in doubt if the previous interactions and feelings developed was frank. For all I could do was to keep mum simply because I do not want to severe a treasured friendship. It was never easy to accommodate a lie, though a subtle one.

I ought to be more cautious with people in the future.