Pick yourself up after a fall

This is a story, known only to those who have listened.

I'm faint-hearted in such a way that I'm often caught stumbling into a series of flashbacks I've tried to stay clear of but to no avail. Just some time back, I'd allowed myself to be subjected to that series of ups and downs that led me no where but emotionally drained at the end of the day. Wearisome was the only word which best explains my sentiment. For each passing day, this burden in my heart got heavier till I could hardly take it anymore. I resort to my friends, it was too much to bear. Despite the impossibilities, we remained as very close friends and shared almost everything together. You were attached, that was the barrier. There were moments I wished I had the courage to tell the whole world about it but never had I gotten my share. I was sad because of you, I was happy because of you too. As much as I'd wanted to pull a foot out of this sticky mud, I realized how unfathomable the other foot went into. My feeling was being stirred by your attention and care everytime I was at the verge of forgetting. There was a constant pressure which spreaded equally on both feet and there was no way I could get out of this.

Everything happened so long ago. I could hardly recall a thing now. I appreciated how my heart had been irreverently replaced by things more significant than this. I was finally in control of situation. Because love shouldn't ever have to be so hard, nor should it hurt that much, and it doesn't have to. Anymore. The epoch about 'you' is a closed chapter by now. Though it didn't end in a manner of a fairytale, memories were left behind. I chose not to forget these memories for they are still sweet to be reviewed once in a blue moon. Fairytales are not always happy ending, do they?

I've realized and still realizing that in the process of forgetting, we fall endlessly. Just like an initial experience when we learned how to ski. We do our best to maneuvre the slippery slopes, but fall hard and fast to the base again with barely a few steps up the hill. It's ok. All we have to do is pick ourselves up and do it all over again. This time with a greater determination and if we fall again, make sure we don't fall that hard.

Falling over and over again. Korea. Nov, 2003