Graduation

Not exactly something to be proud of, but yeah, I made it through! (:

Dr. Wendy Ter Zu Wei

M.B.B.S. (MMMC)

2006-2011

Hanging by the moment

Honestly, I've never been through a posting where I can't wait to leave and move on to the next. It is this bad, I tell you. During those rough few week of tagging, I would cry my heart out once behind my room's door. When the bf was around, I would be hiding under the blanket or in the toilet just to have a release. It was truly a pathetic sight to be alternating between self-pity, anger and hopelessness. So much of negative feelings in me that I do not even know how to express it at times. It is as though none of the people around me understands what and why I am actually feeling so stressed out. Sometimes I don't even bother explaining. 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' - one of the songs sung by Kelly Clarkson. And also one of the phrases my bf keeps telling me every time I come back home from work with bouts of tears and rants. I had this habit that whenever I was down, I would ask those who'd been through the same situation as me, 'How do you do it?' A part of my own curiosity to know how people survived the situation. And often at times, there wasn't one fixed answer or solution. I stopped asking that now. When you're at the edge and wonder how you should go through, you simply do as you must and go through it because you have to. It's such a burden to carry these feeling for another three long months, but hopefully, I'll turn out just fine.

....

And I wonder if it was too much to ask for more.

That was perhaps the best solution I could ever come out with.

Braces free

Finally after one and a half years! :D But I'm not recommending my dentist cuz someone else could have done a better job. >.<

On another note, it's been more than a month into medical posting yet I still wake up every morning with that groggy feeling just to hit a new low. No pun intended, it's so way off line. I need a blue sky holiday for real to get rid off the current grey sky. 

What's worth fighting for?

I go out of commission every time my life gets into a phase where routine takes its stand. Like I always said, lifeless. The current posting has really worn me inside out. I'm tired. Physically and mentally. And this is just the start of another four long months. I can't figure out exactly what's exhausting and stressing me. My MOs and specialists are all awesome people and I'm getting along well my new colleagues. Perhaps it's just another chapter to readapt with when I'm seriously maladaptive to every new thing I'm introduced to. Sux big time I know. Oh well, I still have to go through it no matter how much I have to rant. (: By hope or by crude. 

It's the 25th again tomorrow. Of all the changes that are happening over the past few months, thank God for one that stands out from the rest. Just so, with a snap of a finger and blink of an eye, it's been two months since I experienced something of a brand new whole. It's a blessing to wake up every morning in the embrace of the one you love. I'm so thankful for having him around during the darkest hours. Nevertheless I've learnt that every relationship isn't always smooth sailing no matter hard we try to maintain it at the second stage. It takes its own ride of rollercoaster as well. What happens in the future, only God knows. After the bad recovery several months ago, I realized there isn't much worth fighting for, for something I know I've no control over. To keep things subtle is always the best because once it's over, it's gonna hurt when it heals. I know it cuz I'm still in fear of replaying that hardest moment I ever had.

Transition Period

"藍天白雲總會再次提醒我, 雨後的天空有美麗彩虹"

And I call this bliss (:

Adapted

I left this blog unattended for more than a month without realizing. Time flies indeed. So just a quick update. Tomorrow's my last day in Paediatrics. Four months into a hectic working life hasn't been easy. It ended up not becoming a challenge but rather a chore I had to force myself to do daily. I pulled through anyhow, thank God. And what turns out to be most rewarding after these four months of frequent rants was the day I met my boss before leaving the department. In fact one of the most encouraging appraisals I'd ever heard just when I thought my life was too robotic. Well, it's no longer routine as somewhere along the way, I started enjoying whatever I was doing. Work became all well and good when I began making more friends, getting familiar with the environment and meeting someone who changed my life, totally. I had the best of all experiences I'd ever wanted. Because we have so much in common, sometimes I can't help but think that when God made me, He must have been thinking about you. (: