What's worth fighting for?

I go out of commission every time my life gets into a phase where routine takes its stand. Like I always said, lifeless. The current posting has really worn me inside out. I'm tired. Physically and mentally. And this is just the start of another four long months. I can't figure out exactly what's exhausting and stressing me. My MOs and specialists are all awesome people and I'm getting along well my new colleagues. Perhaps it's just another chapter to readapt with when I'm seriously maladaptive to every new thing I'm introduced to. Sux big time I know. Oh well, I still have to go through it no matter how much I have to rant. (: By hope or by crude. 

It's the 25th again tomorrow. Of all the changes that are happening over the past few months, thank God for one that stands out from the rest. Just so, with a snap of a finger and blink of an eye, it's been two months since I experienced something of a brand new whole. It's a blessing to wake up every morning in the embrace of the one you love. I'm so thankful for having him around during the darkest hours. Nevertheless I've learnt that every relationship isn't always smooth sailing no matter hard we try to maintain it at the second stage. It takes its own ride of rollercoaster as well. What happens in the future, only God knows. After the bad recovery several months ago, I realized there isn't much worth fighting for, for something I know I've no control over. To keep things subtle is always the best because once it's over, it's gonna hurt when it heals. I know it cuz I'm still in fear of replaying that hardest moment I ever had.

Transition Period

"藍天白雲總會再次提醒我, 雨後的天空有美麗彩虹"

And I call this bliss (:

Adapted

I left this blog unattended for more than a month without realizing. Time flies indeed. So just a quick update. Tomorrow's my last day in Paediatrics. Four months into a hectic working life hasn't been easy. It ended up not becoming a challenge but rather a chore I had to force myself to do daily. I pulled through anyhow, thank God. And what turns out to be most rewarding after these four months of frequent rants was the day I met my boss before leaving the department. In fact one of the most encouraging appraisals I'd ever heard just when I thought my life was too robotic. Well, it's no longer routine as somewhere along the way, I started enjoying whatever I was doing. Work became all well and good when I began making more friends, getting familiar with the environment and meeting someone who changed my life, totally. I had the best of all experiences I'd ever wanted. Because we have so much in common, sometimes I can't help but think that when God made me, He must have been thinking about you. (:

Contented

I just wanna stay in this comfort zone for as long as I can. Makes me feel nothing but special and I'm contented. (:

And again...

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

It's a comfort listening to this again. A reminiscence of the turbulent heart that flutters without a direction. Sometimes I feel like giving up, sometimes, just sometimes I know I can't bring myself to do so. It's a pain that weighs up my pride. Hurts deep down but I can't decide for myself what's the best for me, neither can I afford to lose this ecstasy. For all I know, I don't wanna embrace myself once again to go through that stage I reckon to be hell. Suck to be stuck between the lines of fear and guilt. So, whatever...

Christmas Eve 2011

24th December 2011

I never knew that a stretch of 3 days break can be such a treasure till I started working. Give me a day off now, I'm already contented. I went for a scrumptious Korean breakfast with Dr. Sum at Ampang cuz I just can't stop loving the pungent smell of kimchi. Okay, kidding. It was actually Sum's idea to go Korean and dining with Wendy is equivalent to a supernumerary spread of food on table. Says whom it's alot?? We even went for dessert at Snowflake after the fulfilling meal. Holla! I promise I'll refrain myself from eating the next two weeks.

Yummmmmmyummmmm dessert @ Snowflake

@Mid Valley

Returned home and went for a countdown with Mei Cher and Aikumunn @ Papazi and we were lucky enough to win a hamper that night. Revisited that place again on New Year eve to try my luck, but obviously, not so this time.

Delighted with the clapper!

Lucky draw: Aikmunn won a hamper!

Papazi and their treats.

Love from Meicher and Wendy

2012!

*BOOM!!!*********

A toast to the memorable 2011 for another year has come to past and ushering a big welcome to 2012! Proudly will I say, 2011 was a year where I'd learned to be strong from every downfall that had dropped me to the lowest point of life. I pulled through every experience, by God's grace. Alright. Forget about those nostalgic seasons. I had my own felicitous times as well but I won't brag much about them cuz I've had all of them recorded in this virtual journal of mine.

I ushered the coming of 2012 with Gary this year. We were both on our evening shifts and decided to make the night happening after work, despite us knowing that the following day was our day oncall. Yes, on 1st of Jan! Well, I haven't sorted out my new year's resolution. Suppose I'm not that ambitious after all but I will come up with a list of things I wanna fulfill this year soon. May 2012 brings better tidings, great joy and love all year through.

The week where we had two oncalls to pull through. I need more sleep!

See what has work done to us? 24 year-old Wendy vs. 25 year-old Gary. Playing with clapper, blowout and blowing horn.

Happy Nuya!!